The First Rehearsal

The first rehearsal was a disaster.
“Eh where is everybody ?
K Dawg where is Jelly, Younz, Park Nimpei and Song Moon Long ?
What ? Got Gout cannot practise ?
Kidney stone extraction ?
Arthritis ?
Go market drink Kopi ? Buy 4D ?

Yes K Dawg? What is it ?
Again ?? It’s only been about 3 minutes. How many times do you have to pee ?

Good morning J- San. You look sleepy – u had a good night sleep ?
No ? How many times did you have to get up to pee again?
7 ? That’s rough.
And take your finger off your mouth. We’re not doing that cutesy move today.

Look there’s 7 of us. We get better attendance when I call for a mahjong session, dammit!
I don’t know how long this crew is going to last.

The Second Rehearsal
Annyeonghaseyo!
I see we have full attendance today!
Good good. Now before we warm up, some housekeeping matters.
I understand some of you have questions about our growing popularity so here goes.
Yes we are K Bu Uncles – KBU for short. Yes I know it doesn’t sound grammatical. But neither does Korean.
K Dawg – u don’t want to put on lip gloss anymore? Sorry bro – mandatory. How to be Kool without lip gloss ?
On the other hand Younz, we need to talk about your make up 🤦♂️🤦♂️.

Nimpei – you want to know if you can go out with a girl who has been fan gurling you.
Eh Uncle – she is your daughter’s classmate. Not cool bro.
Oh in love already? What’s her full name ?
Does she know you don’t know the meaning of these words – grammable, Dalgona, treesome?
What do you mean it doesn’t matter ? How are you going to communicate ?

Ok I hear that all of you had Shochu poisoning the last time we hung out with our groupies?
You want to just drink chinese tea from now on ?

Dude – we have an image to maintain.
We have to portray a hedonistic, wild out of control live style full of drugs, wanton love, and rock and roll.
Tell you what, we will give you whisky canisters the next time and you can fill it with your ginseng water.
But act wild !

Ok look we are going to unveil our first hit in October at the Sunshine Home for the Elderly. So chop chop let’s get our act together.
Moon Long, better complete your hip replacement next month. We don’t need an accident on stage.

And Jelly – when we go 5/6/7/8 I need you to be at your spot – no toilet breaks in between the sequence.
Go pee before we start dancing!
Who do you think we are – BTS?
At the Annual Awards for Best New Crew (The Twilight Years)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE TO ROCK YOUR WORLD, GIVE IT UP FOR
K…………………B…………………U
Ok uncles, everyone ready ??
This dance is specially for Yu Li.
And 5/6/7/8
