Generation Z, or Gen Z for short, is the demographic cohort after the Millennials.
Demographers and researchers typically use 1997 as the starting birth years for Generation Z or sometimes called Post Millennials (so those aged below 22).
And no. A tweet has got nothing to do with this cute thing.
Post Millennial Speak – an alien language
If you have teens or young adults in your home, you will be inundated with post millennial speak.
Install Urban Dictionary on your phone and consult discreetly.
If you want immediate results and brave asking the Gen Z about what they just said, expect scornful merriment and a great deal of shaking of heads and smacking of their foreheads.
Gen Z can be a cruel bunch.
Do not attempt any Gen Z speak even if you think you are proficient at it.
You may think you are a hip happening (this is a boomer term) parent but the Gen Z’s are cringing and if you look carefully, some of them are already curling into a fetal position.
If you do it in front of their friends, they will never forgive you.
That is why nowadays when I cook and my kids have their friends over, I try not to join them at the table.
This is what happens:
Chantilly(friend): OMG I was so draking the last few months after Brennen curved me but now I’m finally over the suge knight. I’m gonna beat up my face and getting turnt.
Bear (friend): Spilling the tea yo!
Inez (friend): oh stay woke Bae. Sorry not sorry and dont be salty!
Offspring: woo woo! Ded. You slay girl!
Lamdon (friend): Take your time. Don’t be thirsty. Wait for cuffing season before you slide into DM.
Mohawk (friend): I congree Baby-Pop
You : (Bewildered)
You : Err how’s the food, ok ?
Bear: Lit AF. You’re da Beast Bruh.
Mohawk: I congree Uncle Fluffy
I need to lie down.
There are various sorts of grunting.
The usual grunt is because the fruit of your loins is engaged in social media and cannot take their eyes off to communicate.
You are asking some mundane questions when Lizzie is telling me about how Kurt is totally calling her out and omg look at Kim’s butt it’s absolutely bootylicious.
Then there is the slightly hung over tone which means that your offspring has had too much to drink at Marquee last nite, and OMG dad why in the world are you still talking?
The surly grunt means junior is sulking about something. It could be at you, it could be about the universe, you”ll never know.
You need to be skilled in discerning the various grunts when you are driving and the post millennials are in the back seat.
Occasionally, once every lunar eclipse or so, you will have a cheery spirited response instead of a grunt.
Change your will and give everything you have to that one.
If you’re the sort who likes to eat your food piping hot, you are in for grim times.
First, understand that in the post millennial world, it’s no longer about whether the food is delicious. Forget taste. More importantly, it has to look instagrammable.
And when the food comes, don’t you dare touch the food in the first 17 minutes.
And please move away because they need the light.
Which is why I always tarpao my chicken rice and eat at the next table while all this is going on.
What matters to Gen Z
They care about climate change.
They care about how the cows are reared.
Increasingly, many of them want to stop eating meat.
They appear fickle and fluttering to employers and want to know what the job can do for them spiritually, for their self worth, and for a plethora of 27 needs.
They are entrepreneurial and want to find themselves creatively.
Social media Influencers are their new heroes.
Your kids diss you if you are C Suite. Hide it from them at all cost if you haven’t spilled the beans.
They are digital natives and tech is their epicentre and eco-system.
But unlike the millennials, they don’t want to be always reachable.
Yes it’s savage I know. My head hurts too.
Don’t diss them about their tech or that they are entitled beings or their love for avocadoes on toast.
They will go “OK Boomer”.
No, they are not being compliant.
They are dissing you.